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‘What the hell?’ She tried to reach under the bed to grab the box but her grip fell just inches short. She continued trying to get the box only succeeding in nudging it further away. ‘What is that?’ She said to herself as she lay down on the floor flat on her stomach and crawled snail like under the bed up to her waist until she was finally able to get her hands on the tiny box and open it from her prone position. There was a cheap looking cell phone inside the box. It was definitely a used device and seemed to have a slight film of grease on its surface. ‘What the fuck?’ The phone suddenly started ringing loudly causing the middle aged housewife to hit her head on the box spring of the bed’s underside. She dropped the phone which flipped open emitting a familiar buzzing sound. Monet suddenly panicked as her body completely slammed against the floor as if she suddenly weighed tons. The housewife was completely unable to move and she began crying out for help and realizing that she. Both bridges had to have roadblocks erected to control traffic because several idiots had tried to use the southern, long, one-lane, one-way bridge to get into town, presumably trusting Jesus to keep them safe from head-on collisions. That was foolish of them because Jesus was busy keeping safe all the fully clothed idiots who'd abandoned their cars and were trying to cross the river the wet way, many of whom were as good at swimming in water as they were at walking on it. Considering how against ANY sexual exhibition in public Christians are, they were doing a great job of turning Corvallis into a fucking mess.The unfortunate people who'd bought our Peoria Road property from us were doubtless wishing it was surrounded by the 75th Rangers again, because TV showed that thousands of religiously inspired souvenir hunters had found it and were in the process of ripping the house apart to get keepsakes of 'Saint Mark', or whatever the hell they thought I was. The owners should have put.
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